Dolomites - The Post Mortem

Overall verdict on the 5 day trip (in comparison to the Alps which, as a group, we've been to quite a bit) is that the Dolomites provided shorter, sweeter and more frequent climbs, as punishing in parts, but with an absolutely stunning back drop. The geography of the mountains out there made for breathtaking scenery.

There are a couple of items to deal with as a follow-on from the final Dolomites report. Namely:

Postscript to events on Day 4:

Further to events in the long-drop half way up the Col du Telegraphe in May 2011,to which only Mark was witness, Mr Flynn once again excelled himself on the final climb in the Dolomites. Having tried to relieve himself of some excess air whilst climbing the Falzarego he managed to 'nip one to the wicket keeper' in quite spectacular fashion. Certainly the big red monster wasn't designed for this sort of incident and the true extent of the problem was worsened by a white saddle on the new BMC bike that quickly changed colour. It was at this point that Doug decided not to join us for a beer afterwards despite Flynn's desperate attempts to remove the evidence from his saddle with the contents of his water bottle. 

Awards:

Biggest Bonk: Beard

All the gear and plenty of idea: Pat Hoy

Maratona Route Completion: Hoy and Kirwan

Late Arrival: Flynn

Worst Attire: Pugh

Best Crash: Pugh for getting such extensive air as he flew over the handlebars. Beard and WJD share second place and plenty of road rash scars to show for it

Ladies' Plate: HCD [Jen, you were sorely missed] with Beard coming a close second

Logistics Legend: Mark (even if no one was listening to a word you said)

Moaning Myrtle: Beard (NB Gibson was not even a nominee for this category)

Compilation of best quotes from the trip:

"Mr Flynn? No bag!"

“Which one of those guys do you reckon is the Italian Durden?”

“Flynn has cracked and sh&t himself.  His saddle is now brown”

"Not again?!"



Next year:

Mallorca (where Mr Wiggins practices his trade). If you want to join this madness next year then please send applications FAO The Secretary, TGS, 4c Aristotle Road, London. Places are limited.

Dolomites - Part III

The final big day and it was due to be an epic one at that. Williams had done his best to scare everyone to death the night before telling us how brutal the planned Maratona route would be. By the time everyone was eating breakfast it was clear that only a few of us were really keen for the Passo Giau followed by the Sellaronda loop from the day before.

We had early breakfast and the outriders (slowest of the group, including me) aimed to leave at 8am. I'd been struggling the day before with my chain jumping and, despite some tweaking the night before, had not managed to resolve the problem. We set off towards Corvara and up the Compolongo for the first time that day. The chain jumping was incessant. Every third pedal turn. By the time I got to Corvara I was not only swearing a lot but had made the decision that I needed to find a bike mechanic before getting so far into the ride that mechanical failure would require assistance from an Italian taxi driver. 5km's in after Beard told me he couldn't sort the problem (disappointing) I turned around, heading back for Alta Badia. Everyone had gone past me now, even those that had started later and my chances of completing a ride that day, let alone the Maratona route, were looking bleak.

Cyling back into town and it dawned on me that it was a Sunday. Everywhere was closed, including the bike shop. The original plan was to just hire a bike for the day. Not an option. Back to the hotel and, slightly teary, they called round all the local mechanics they knew. Everyone was either in bed or had gone to church. In the end the chef, who had already shown some interest in our bikes, had a look at it and, with the help of his Dad, set about replacing the link in my (brand new) chain that had ceased up. Legend. I didn't care that my food that evening might taste a bit oily as a result.

Soon I was back on the road, heading towards Corvara again. Second realisation of the morning was that, whilst I had an idea where I was going, I didn't know the exact route. Up the Compolongo by 10.30am and the bike was purring. Unfortunately I was too far behind the rest of them to even consider the Maratona route so I headed for the Giau. Unfortunately I hadn't fully twigged that we had planned a relatively flat route to the bottom of this climb and, instead, opted to climb the Falzarego not realising that this should have come after the Giau....

Not to worry of course. It was a beautiful cycle and the climb wasn't too bad - a gentle 6-7% gradient most of the way. It also meant I'd put an extra climb in for the day which was good for the training.

I followed a couple of other lone cyclists up the final throws of the climb as it became quite Mallorcan-esque (Wiggo eat your heart out).

Little did I know that the boys had pretty much reached the top of the Giau by this point and, having descended from the top of Falzarego following signs for the Giau I realised the error of my ways as I took a right turn, heading south, signposted 'Passo Giau'. I should not have been approaching it from this direction.

Team Blue with Doug at the top of the Giau. L-R Will, Pughy, Gibson, Beard (looking mildly happier having actually got out of bed today), Pat and Doug. I met Pat and Jonny as I was coming out of the bushes having relieved myself at the bottom of the Giau. Pat kindly got his map out and showed me the error of my ways. 'Oh well' I said, I was still going to get up the Giau one way or the other and there's something quite satisfying about going back down the same side you've just made the effort to come up.

Looking back down the valley in the direction that I am coming from. I was grappling with some 15% sections whilst this photo was being taken of the boys sunbathing in the lunchtime heat. L-R Doug, Pat, Will, Pugh, Gibson, Beard, Jonny.



My view from the road as I'm ascending up the Passo Giau. Stunning.

Pughy trying to get rid of his tan lines and attracting some male admirers while he's at it. Note his promotion to the Liquigas team who were training on the same climbs as us the day before - it was quite staggering how fast their team car was having to go to keep up with their riders on the descents.

Will and Pughy on the fateful decent from the Passo Giau. All confidence and bravado about 3 minutes before I followed in their tyre marks and found Pughy in a heap on the side of the road with some very bent handlebars. Thankfully there was some verge at the point he went off the road. Any other corner and there could have been a nasty drop on the other side of the barrier.

Only a couple of minutes later and who should we find licking his wounds but Will. Having just overtaken a couple of Italian motorcyclists (which perhaps gives an indication of the speed he was travelling at) he had the embarassment of skidding off his bike on the next hairpin right in front of them. Luckily they managed to avoid running him over and the injuries were only superficial 'road burn'. His new cycling shorts were looking a bit worse for wear and there were some loud whimpers when he got in the shower that evening.

The final pass of the day, Passo Valparola. This was our 'warm up' on the first day from the other side, so it was good to come over it from the Falzarego side this time. It was a final bleak push up from the Falzarego with our German friend who was sporting both an old skool bike and incredible blond mullet. It was at this point that I was secretly glad of my mechanical failure earlier that morning as the prospect of another loop of the Sellaronda wasn't pretty.

In his full Team Gun Show regalia, WJD is seen here watering the verge.

Pughy going a little slower on his descent from the Valparola

In close pursuit with the mountains surrounding Alta Badia in the background.

War wounds being admired back at base camp.

The whole team enjoying a beer on the penultimate day with JK and Pat having completed the full Maratona route in a little over 10 hours. Good effort gentlemen. L-R Jonny, Mark, Flynn, Gibson, Me, Will, Beard, Pughy, Pat.

Punishment beyond that experienced in the mountain. The look of enjoyment on Mark's face is similar.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee a couple of beverages down. Off to lick their wounds.





And onto the final day of R&R. Temperatures were now up to 32C so we enjoyed the sun and went for a walk up what looked like a red run, finding this beautiful chapel in someone's back garden on the way. WJD admitted that walking up mountains was almost as challenging as cycling up them. He managed about an hour and was not carrying a tent. Not built for hiking then.

A rather more relaxing bus journey back to Verona airport and, whilst Gibson bought his ticket for the June (rather than July) return flight home, we took advantage of the weighing-in facilities. It was a close run contest between Mark and Flynn and I can categorically confirm that we'd been eating too much as few of us had lost any weight!

Dolomites 2012 - The End

Chrissie Wellington

Team Gun Show meets Chrissie Wellington.

Mr Pugh kindly smuggled us into the Treasury where Chrissie was speaking to Women in the Treasury or W.I.T as it is known. Personally I think Trajectory in the Treasury has a better ring to it and is far less sexist.

For those that have read Chrissie's autobiography she went through much of what had already been said in that. She gave up her very successful career in the Civil Service to become a professional athlete at the age of 30. This girl has balls. She's very straight laced and didn't exactly have us all in stitches, but there was a healthy respect for her epic achievements over the Ironman distance (4 time World Champion at the Ironman to end all Ironmans around the Kona course in Hawaii) in the room. She did also add a good piece on encouraging the media to cover both men's and women's sports more equally and to focus on skill and achievements rather than looks. Fair point.

What she is so clearly aware of is her ability to use her fame and talent to make a positive impact as a role model and ambassador. If only the UK's leading sportsmen could follow suit - yes, this is a gross generalisation as plenty of them provide excellent examples to their young fans - but footballers and some of the rugby team in particular have a lot to live up to.

OK, rant over. The key bit of the evening was getting to shake Chrissie's hand (VERY firm), asking her to sign a poster for TGS and have a team photo taken of which evidence is below. I recommend her autobiography: A Life Without Limits.

L-R: WJD, Emily Gibbs (JK's Lady), HCD, Chrissie Wellington (Legend), JK, Gibson, Pughy.

There was a comedy moment after this first photo was taken when it was suggested that, given our name, we should all have a shot of us kissing our guns. The boys all shuffled off looking embarrassed pretty quickly so it was left to me and Chrissie to model this shot which, to be honest, looks like we're smelling our armpits. Great.

Final exciting bit of the event was Chrissie acknowledging that both the Big and Little Woody competitions are real. My feelings went from relief at realising I hadn't fallen for some internet scam by handing over the £125 entry fee back to fear and dread at the prospect that the forthcoming long course triathlon was going to happen. In 8 weeks. Heck. But surely this is motivation enough?

[unfortunately this is an adobe file and it won't upload: it's a signed poster from Chrissie saying:

"Team Gun Show - there are no limits"]

The Charities

A quick note on the charities that I hope to raise some money for in the process of putting myself through all of this. Sometimes I ask myself why I've opted for the Ironman challenge. Approaching 30, reducing alcohol-intake, toning up. They're all the selfish reasons. There's added motivation for the 3,000+km that I've clocked up over in excess of 200 hours of ironman-specific training so far (as at mid-June). Without sounding too virtuous I hope that some people will appreciate the time and sacrifice to achieve this and might donate a bit of wonga - every little helps - for my efforts.

The two charities I'm supporting are:

Friends of the Children of Orissa

http://www.orissa.org.uk/

A small, self-funded school in State of Orissa, eastern India. I visited and taught there for 4 weeks in Christmas 2000 where I enjoyed incredible hospitality, an appreciation for the work that they're doing and my fair share of 'Delhi Belly'. In short a school that started by taking in and educating children affected by leprosy, prostitution, alcoholism - you name it. It's now the equivalent of a 'beacon' school welcoming locals from the surrounding villages. Old friends run the charity so we know exactly where the money goes. In time I will dig out a hideous picture of me aged 18 out there and add it in for comedy value...

To donate go to: http://www.justgiving.com/hannahdurdenorissa

Kassisi Porridge Project

www.kasiisiporridge.org - I'm even now featuring on their news page: http://kasiisiporridge.org/news2/

http://kasiisiporridge.org/donate/ or visit my just giving page http://www.justgiving.com/hannahdurden

It started by providing porridge to kids who'd walk 2+hours to get to school each day. It now has it's own farm and is working towards becoming self-sufficient. Kate Wrangham-Briggs (my friend Izzy's Mum for those in the know) runs the show and it is another grass-routes charity involved with feeding and educating under-priviledged kids in poor rural communities.

THANK YOU.

The Phenomenon Returns

The phenomenon know as “the dark place”, which has been stalking TGS members for the last few years, made its first appearance in 2012 during the Richmond Park marathon.  Despite approaching a number of the TGS runners, they had the wherewithal to note its possible presence on the course and managed to steer clear.  However, “the dark place” did take the opportunity to formally introduce itself to Mr Barnes.  At the end of the race “the dark place’s visit” was clearly identifiable - although Mr Barnes’s powers of communication are not well developed at the best of times, by the end of the race he was a fully qualified mute.

The elder brother of the “the dark place”, commonly referred to as “the very dark place” has not been seen since visiting a number of TGS members late one night last May on the steep slopes of the Col de la Croix de la Fer high in the French alps.  However, TGS counter-intelligence sources have reported that “the very dark place” does appear to be setting up operations in the Eastern Dolomites at present, paying particular attention to the areas towards the top of the Giau pass.

Profile

profile Passo Giau - click to open in new window

The Dolomites - Part II

Day 3 saw some tired legs. Beard was in such a state he didn't even get on his bike. Day 2 stats, in summary, were:

144km
3,300m climbed
7 hours 45 in the saddle

So we decided to do a shorter route known as the Sellaronda, probably one of the most renowned and beautiful tours in the Dolomites. The route forms the first part of the Maratona des Dolomites, a famous Italian sportif similar to the epic Marmotte or Etape. This was also to form part of the route that we would attempt the following day.

The Sellaronda connects the four Ladin valleys in the Dolomites. Starting in La Villa (where we were based), warming up along the first 5km to Corvara, you take a right past the Val Gardena World Cup ski course and up the first 11% gradient via Colfosco where we admired the Sella Mountain Group to the left and the Cir Peaks to the right.

After a short descent from the Passo Gardena we started the ascent from the Passo Sella. To the right of this is the Sasso Lungo Group of mountains, the most imposing of the Dolomites massifs. The picture below shows our first pee stop on our way between Gardena and Sella. Stunning back drop for it.

During the course of the morning we acquired a new member of the group who became our American friend Doug. More on him later. He brought the average age up somewhat but he seemed amused by the TGS banter (this was key as it sometimes degenerated to pretty low / random levels) and certainly didn't bring the standard of cycling down.

After a steep downhill run from the Passo Sella, we enjoyed a relatively steady 6-8% ascent to the Passo Pordoi. Having taken advantage of Flynn's mechanical failure at the bottom of the climb he towed Williams up to join me for the last couple of km's. About a kilometre off the top there was a bit of jostling for position. Flynn looked like he was going to make a move having caught up with me, Williams even took the front for a while (7-10m), but before anyone got any further away I put my toe down to leave both gentlemen firmly back where they belonged. There wasn't much of a fight as we all soon realised our heart rates had just gone through the roof. Luckily not far to the welcoming committee at the top where Doug kindly took a team shot, minus Beard this time. 

Lunch was a slightly less frantic affair with apricot and chocolate cookies for pudding (thanks Doug) and even a little time to soak up some rays all in the knowledge that we had a relatively easy trip home.

Then downhill once again to Arabba and back up the, well known by now, Compolongo leading back down to Corvara with the Sassongher Mountain in the background (see yesterday's favourite photo). 

Day 3 stats:

65km
1,800m climbed
A steady 4-5 hours (who's counting?) in the saddle

Bish bash bosh.

The Dolomites - Part I

What an epic trip. We set off for Alta Badia in the Italian Dolomites crack of dawn on Thursday 14th June.

First casualty was Flynn who had a big night carb [beer]-loading the night before and missed the train that got him to Gatwick in time to get his bike bag on the plane. You'd think an hour before check-in closes would be enough but not for the baggage handlers in Gatwick. On arrival at Verona airport things were looking bleak...

The comedy moment came when the Italian female version of Hitler appeared briefly to announce:

"MR FLYNN?? MR FLYNN?? NO BAG [waggling her finger as if telling him off]"

At which point she turned around and disappeared into the office booth she'd come out of with no further explanation.

3 hours to Alta Badia, the longest espresso stop ever and a couple of hairy overtaking efforts later, we arrived at our pretty smart looking hotel.

We warmed up that evening with a quick 1 hr 45 climb and descent of the Passo Valparola. Which in fact was quite steep and the altitude, having just arrived, made it quite punishing on both lungs and legs.

Up bright and early the next morning, TGS on Tour was looking sharp. Flynn was still in bed reliant on BA's Italian courier service delivering his bike. L-R Paddy 'Thin', WJD, Gibson, The Tank, The Fish, Beard [still looking fresh....not for long] and Pugh [having realised the benefit of wearing cycle attire as opposed to his school rugby kit].

Day 2, first climb, half way up the Passo Campolongo surrounded by plenty of cows complete with bells and the stunning Dolomites in the background. Beard still looking surprisingly happy.

From the Passo Campolongo we enjoyed the long descent towards Digonera and Caprile.

Averaging circa 45kph and riding out in 'the train' made it a bit dodgy taking photos...

Heading towards the top of the Passo Duran, which we descended from and went straight up the Passo Staulanza. As I cycled past this sign and thought, wow / I'm feeling pretty shattered right now / that is steep, I heard Mark shout out 'what the f*ck!!!'. The climb had been pretty savage up to that point and we didn't need this further encouragement from the Italian authorities.

The top of the Staulanza provided the opportunity to enjoy an epic spaghetti bolognaise which they whipped up after we arrived: just 5 minutes before the kitchen closed. It had been a long morning / early afternoon and I hate to think what would have happened if we'd all stayed with Beard to tow him up the hill and missed lunch. There would certainly have been tears. Once we'd had the first round of spaghetti we realised quite how broken Beard and his 'dominators' [no more it would appear] really were. We had to send the waitress back twice to keep the pasta warm for our late arrival.

Some of the boys proceeded to tuck into their second portion

And finally - to our relief by now - he appeared on the horizon. A broken man.

By this point most of the staff had lost interest in any further customers arriving. Some had moved on to their afternoon siesta already.

And this set the scene for the rest of the afternoon. Quite a bit of waiting. Although this gave Flynn the chance to catch up with us having received his bike at the hotel that afternoon.

And we found him a few moments later tucking into his very late lunch, complete with bike [although no sign of the big red nasty quite yet].

And then onto the final climb up the Compolongo (coming up the other side that we'd descended down that morning) which gave me the perfect opportunity to demonstrate that the girls didn't always bring up the rear of the group. Here we see The Tank dragging Beard up the final drag.

Best photo from the first day: on our way up the Compolongo first thing. The geography of the Dolomites makes them both imposing and incredibly beautiful.