The Phenomenon Returns

The phenomenon know as “the dark place”, which has been stalking TGS members for the last few years, made its first appearance in 2012 during the Richmond Park marathon.  Despite approaching a number of the TGS runners, they had the wherewithal to note its possible presence on the course and managed to steer clear.  However, “the dark place” did take the opportunity to formally introduce itself to Mr Barnes.  At the end of the race “the dark place’s visit” was clearly identifiable - although Mr Barnes’s powers of communication are not well developed at the best of times, by the end of the race he was a fully qualified mute.

The elder brother of the “the dark place”, commonly referred to as “the very dark place” has not been seen since visiting a number of TGS members late one night last May on the steep slopes of the Col de la Croix de la Fer high in the French alps.  However, TGS counter-intelligence sources have reported that “the very dark place” does appear to be setting up operations in the Eastern Dolomites at present, paying particular attention to the areas towards the top of the Giau pass.

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The Dolomites - Part II

Day 3 saw some tired legs. Beard was in such a state he didn't even get on his bike. Day 2 stats, in summary, were:

144km
3,300m climbed
7 hours 45 in the saddle

So we decided to do a shorter route known as the Sellaronda, probably one of the most renowned and beautiful tours in the Dolomites. The route forms the first part of the Maratona des Dolomites, a famous Italian sportif similar to the epic Marmotte or Etape. This was also to form part of the route that we would attempt the following day.

The Sellaronda connects the four Ladin valleys in the Dolomites. Starting in La Villa (where we were based), warming up along the first 5km to Corvara, you take a right past the Val Gardena World Cup ski course and up the first 11% gradient via Colfosco where we admired the Sella Mountain Group to the left and the Cir Peaks to the right.

After a short descent from the Passo Gardena we started the ascent from the Passo Sella. To the right of this is the Sasso Lungo Group of mountains, the most imposing of the Dolomites massifs. The picture below shows our first pee stop on our way between Gardena and Sella. Stunning back drop for it.

During the course of the morning we acquired a new member of the group who became our American friend Doug. More on him later. He brought the average age up somewhat but he seemed amused by the TGS banter (this was key as it sometimes degenerated to pretty low / random levels) and certainly didn't bring the standard of cycling down.

After a steep downhill run from the Passo Sella, we enjoyed a relatively steady 6-8% ascent to the Passo Pordoi. Having taken advantage of Flynn's mechanical failure at the bottom of the climb he towed Williams up to join me for the last couple of km's. About a kilometre off the top there was a bit of jostling for position. Flynn looked like he was going to make a move having caught up with me, Williams even took the front for a while (7-10m), but before anyone got any further away I put my toe down to leave both gentlemen firmly back where they belonged. There wasn't much of a fight as we all soon realised our heart rates had just gone through the roof. Luckily not far to the welcoming committee at the top where Doug kindly took a team shot, minus Beard this time. 

Lunch was a slightly less frantic affair with apricot and chocolate cookies for pudding (thanks Doug) and even a little time to soak up some rays all in the knowledge that we had a relatively easy trip home.

Then downhill once again to Arabba and back up the, well known by now, Compolongo leading back down to Corvara with the Sassongher Mountain in the background (see yesterday's favourite photo). 

Day 3 stats:

65km
1,800m climbed
A steady 4-5 hours (who's counting?) in the saddle

Bish bash bosh.

The Dolomites - Part I

What an epic trip. We set off for Alta Badia in the Italian Dolomites crack of dawn on Thursday 14th June.

First casualty was Flynn who had a big night carb [beer]-loading the night before and missed the train that got him to Gatwick in time to get his bike bag on the plane. You'd think an hour before check-in closes would be enough but not for the baggage handlers in Gatwick. On arrival at Verona airport things were looking bleak...

The comedy moment came when the Italian female version of Hitler appeared briefly to announce:

"MR FLYNN?? MR FLYNN?? NO BAG [waggling her finger as if telling him off]"

At which point she turned around and disappeared into the office booth she'd come out of with no further explanation.

3 hours to Alta Badia, the longest espresso stop ever and a couple of hairy overtaking efforts later, we arrived at our pretty smart looking hotel.

We warmed up that evening with a quick 1 hr 45 climb and descent of the Passo Valparola. Which in fact was quite steep and the altitude, having just arrived, made it quite punishing on both lungs and legs.

Up bright and early the next morning, TGS on Tour was looking sharp. Flynn was still in bed reliant on BA's Italian courier service delivering his bike. L-R Paddy 'Thin', WJD, Gibson, The Tank, The Fish, Beard [still looking fresh....not for long] and Pugh [having realised the benefit of wearing cycle attire as opposed to his school rugby kit].

Day 2, first climb, half way up the Passo Campolongo surrounded by plenty of cows complete with bells and the stunning Dolomites in the background. Beard still looking surprisingly happy.

From the Passo Campolongo we enjoyed the long descent towards Digonera and Caprile.

Averaging circa 45kph and riding out in 'the train' made it a bit dodgy taking photos...

Heading towards the top of the Passo Duran, which we descended from and went straight up the Passo Staulanza. As I cycled past this sign and thought, wow / I'm feeling pretty shattered right now / that is steep, I heard Mark shout out 'what the f*ck!!!'. The climb had been pretty savage up to that point and we didn't need this further encouragement from the Italian authorities.

The top of the Staulanza provided the opportunity to enjoy an epic spaghetti bolognaise which they whipped up after we arrived: just 5 minutes before the kitchen closed. It had been a long morning / early afternoon and I hate to think what would have happened if we'd all stayed with Beard to tow him up the hill and missed lunch. There would certainly have been tears. Once we'd had the first round of spaghetti we realised quite how broken Beard and his 'dominators' [no more it would appear] really were. We had to send the waitress back twice to keep the pasta warm for our late arrival.

Some of the boys proceeded to tuck into their second portion

And finally - to our relief by now - he appeared on the horizon. A broken man.

By this point most of the staff had lost interest in any further customers arriving. Some had moved on to their afternoon siesta already.

And this set the scene for the rest of the afternoon. Quite a bit of waiting. Although this gave Flynn the chance to catch up with us having received his bike at the hotel that afternoon.

And we found him a few moments later tucking into his very late lunch, complete with bike [although no sign of the big red nasty quite yet].

And then onto the final climb up the Compolongo (coming up the other side that we'd descended down that morning) which gave me the perfect opportunity to demonstrate that the girls didn't always bring up the rear of the group. Here we see The Tank dragging Beard up the final drag.

Best photo from the first day: on our way up the Compolongo first thing. The geography of the Dolomites makes them both imposing and incredibly beautiful.

Sports Massage & Physio

I have a problem with a tendon in my backside. Not my glute, nor my hammy, and impossible to stretch. It tightens up when I run but weirdly reacts incredibly well to massage. I've been to the physio with a couple of tweaks during the course of my training and, as usual, the only real treatment to allow it to fully recover is rest. Not what I want to hear.

And so I have turned to sports massage. Probably one of the most painful experiences of my life to date but in a satisfying way. It is incredible the amount of pain that one can inflict with their elbow. But for those of you that have received plenty of physio treatment over the years there is good pain and bad pain. By picking pressure points in the muscles the masseure is able to relieve pressure and tension. Whilst it is agonising when they first hit the pressure point, the pain begins to fade which, apparently, is a good thing. Something to do with nerves and a lot of technical words that I don't understand. I felt sore afterwards and will no doubt feel it tomorrow but in the face of a relaxed evening at Chelsea Flower Show I will drink plenty of water (and maybe some Pimm's) and looking forward to a tough weekend of training ahead.

I have booked in for another hour next week and will report further updates here. Like an hour sprinting or TT session on the bike, I will need to mentally prepare for this next sports massage. This should have become one of the key parts of my training schedule weeks ago but it has now become an essential part going forwards. A word of warning - don't get a one off massage, especially in the run up to a competition or big training session. It leaves you sore, even bruised, and you need to give your body time to recover afterwards. A minimum of a couple of hours but, ideally, a couple of days.

14 weeks to go to BW.

TGS - Profile Updates

I've been told that I need more imagery on this blog. Something that I was aware of but haven't had time to really improve on so far. Off the back of a 14hr45 & 250+km training week I haven't had time to do much else except eat, sleep and show up in the office.

MW has kindly put together some additional profile information on TGS members for your amusement. Granted, a lot of this is probably in-jokes amongst the group, so apologies if it's not quite as funny as it is to us... it gives you a good feel for some of the participants and perhaps highlights the challenges we face in completing a long-course distance. Doing all this with a gimp-mask on is not easy. Especially when you haven't started training properly yet.

TB

Most likely to say: Supersize the chips

Least likely to say : I have just received an invite to join Mensa
NB The size of this photo in comparison to the other images used in this article is not to scale. TB is very short in real life. Width in comparison to height, however, is about right.

PF

Most likely to say: Bring out the g~mp

Least likely to say: Do you think I’ll get that soprano role in the choir?

WJD

Most likely to say:  Yes of course we are exclusive

Least likely to say: My legs are looking pumped


HCD

Most likely to say: Yes darling your uncle is the same person as your father

Least likely to say: I am not organising this

J "The Fish" K

Most likely to say: What a lovely looking set of Maris pipers
Least likely to say: I’m not bothered its just a friendly

As part of all this MW kindly declined from putting his own profile together so we have done this for him:

M "The Tank" W



Most likely to say: are you sure that is safe?
Least likely to be able to: perform a sprint finish

Swimming lesson #4 & #5

Will keep this as a brief reportage on what we did during the lessons in case anyone wants to repeat the sessions (30 mins duration, but increase repetition and add in a warm up / cool down and you're easily an hour plus)

All distances in metres - can be converted into lengths (30m)

Lesson #3

• 60 - catch up's to warm up
• 240 - 1 length sprinting, 1 length recovering (x4)
• 120 - with hand paddles and legs crossed. By doing the latter your legs sink like a stone and you are trying to swim standing up. Not pretty. The idea is to encourage you to lift your shoulders out of the water even more. If you sink completely, then simply uncross your legs for a couple of strokes
• 60 - normal kicks - holding float sideways (to provide resistance) out in front, head in water breathing when required
• 60 - side kicks - with lower arm outstretched and top arm resting on thigh. The key is to not let the outstretched arm sink. Take a normal stroke every 5 seconds or so and switch sides.
• 120 - high elbows/no legs - keeping elbows as highest part of arm but with forearms / hands relaxed
• 240 - 1on/1off to finish (as before)
• I finished this session with 1km steady to finish. 

Lesson #4

As a pre-cursor to this I'd swum just under 3km on Monday evening (1 hour) and as soon as I did my first warm up length (Weds early morning) I realised that I hadn't recovered fully - arms and shoulders were still feeling quite stiff and sore ("swimmer's shoulder" muscle running down outside of armpit, can't remember proper name, in particular). What I learnt: give yourself at least 2 days between harder sessions for each discipline. This is certainly the case with the running.

As a result of this we concentrated on the legs and trunk....!

• 300 warm up
• 60 kicks with float in front providing resistance
• 60 side kicks (as above)
• 120 hand paddles/crossed legs (as above)
• 120 float between ankles - this is to encourage you to engage your tummy muscles. This was really useful as I find I start to snake through the water when I get tired and don't use my tummy muscles to stabilise myself
• 60 normal - felt much 'straighter'
• 60 to finish with 10 secs standing kicks (against wall with head in water) followed by sprint, 40 secs rest, repeat
• 1 km to finish - arms felt much better after the exercises although pretty tired towards the end

News Headlines - 2nd May 2012

A brief update from our Health & Safety officer MW. Some "in" jokes so apologies if it's not as amusing as I found it on my first reading:

Durden completes 19 minute lap of Richmond Park

Last night TGS reporters witnessed William “Chicken Legs” Durden (WJD) complete a lap of Richmond Park on the 19 minute mark.  This remarkable tour de force has secured Durden the third spot in the first peloton for the Dolomites (noting that Messrs Gibson and Beard had achieved automatic selection for the first two spots by weighing less than 60 kilos).  Durden informed TGS reporters that the principal reason for his surge in form was to spend 15 hours making an ironman training plan and then conducting an entirely random set of training activities.  He was also very comfortable with his selection for the first peloton noting that he would use his new found form to “drop the hammer on that pigeon-chested f#ck Beard in the Dolomites”.

Mark “The Tank” Williams was also at Richmond Park last night but was too visibly distressed to provide any comment on Durden’s performance to TGS reporters.  However, he was later overheard making some derogatory comments about people with chicken legs.

There is now one final spot available in the first peloton for the Dolomites.  Jonathan “The Potato” Kirwan is still the favourite for the jersey although TGS News is expecting a strong late run from Pughy.

Former champion rues lack of form

There has been considerable speculation about the lack of early season form of Christopher Beard (CB).  TGS News has investigated why the former yellow jersey holder is not where he would expect to be at this point in the season and, despite his lack of comment on the subject, the reason is that he has suffered a lack of training hours caused by pursuing a relationship with some mincer called “Stuart”.

The big red nasty

Patrick “the big red nasty” Flynn (PF) will be continuing with his current training plan by spending four days on the smash in Magaluf this coming weekend.  TGS Reporters nonetheless expect him to be a valuable contributor to the third peloton in the Dolomites.

Mr R is teetotal pre-Dolomites

TGS reporters have been informed by sources that the Mr R will not be consuming any alcohol pre-Dolomites in an attempt to get down to his fighting weight of 16 and a half stone.  During this period of tee-totality TGS News understands that the Pope has also agreed to become Muslim.